THE SNICKERWARE FAQ: (Hey, why did my email arrive wrapped in plastic?)

Q: What’s a FAQ page?

A: A FAQ is a place to put Frequently Asked Questions. If you don’t know what a Page is, you’ve got issues.

Q: Okay, so this is the place for Frequently Asked Questions, I got it. What are the Frequently Asked Questions?

A: The ones you’re reading, of course.

Q: No, the questions about the Blog and the Newsletter.

A: Well, then, ask them.

Q: Um…okay…why A Nickel At A Time?

A: Actually, it’s NickelAtATime. Because DollarAtATime is too much for a bad joke, “PayPalUsFiveCentsForAJokeButOnlyIfYouLaugh” was way too long, and “wearenevergoingtogetrichatthisrate” was already taken.

Q: In other words, you write jokes, and you expect people to pay you for it.

A: Well, yeah. It’s not like it’s a brand new idea, isn’t that what Congress does? Of course, we don’t have the IRS gathering our money for us, so we can’t charge quite as much as they do.

Q: And you actually expect people to PAY for a joke?

A: Of course. Whatever they think the joke is worth. MSRP, one nickel. It’s in the EULA, and everyone who downloads software always follows the EULA perfectly, right?

Q: And how do people know they need to send the nickel for the joke?

A: It’s right there, in big bold letters on the shrink-wrap on the outside of the email we sent.

Q: Hey, my email didn’t have shrink-wrap!

A: That’s because you got the bootleg version, forwarded from friends after the shrink-wrap was already removed. That’s okay, though, you can make your copy legal by sending in your nickel, just as if you got the proper legal one. Then, email and add your name to the mailing list. Once you’ve done that, you can chastize your friends for forwarding pirated jokes to you.

Q: Okay, so, once I’ve paid my nickel, what then?

A: Then you forward a copy of the joke to everyone who might get a laugh out of it.

Q: But didn’t you just tell me to yell at my friends for doing that?

A: Yeah, but I didn’t say to tell them to stop doing it. How else would our jokes get into the hands of our customers who desperately need the laughter? How can you deny the gift of guffaws to those poor deprived souls?


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