Top Tens: Harry Potter vs Lord of the Rings

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Top Ten reasons why The Lord of the Rings is better than Harry Potter

  • Arwen and Galadriel *so* much hotter than Professor McGonagall.
  • Getting rescued by a giant eagle…or getting rescued by a flying Ford Anglia…?
  • Army of the Dead…or Moaning Myrtle…?
  • Legolas can take down an Oliphaunt single-handedly.
  • Which is scarier, getting trampled by Saruman’s Uruk-Hai army, or losing House Points to Snape…?
  • Treebeard could take the Whomping Willow with one…um…branch…tied behind his back.
  • Where would you rather live?  Under the stairs at the Dursleys’ house, or under the hill at Bag End?
  • Legolas is still the prettiest.
  • It took a flaming Balrog to take down Gandalf, and he didn’t stay dead.
  • Gandalf, miles underground in a magnificent dwarven kingdom, battling millions of enemies and one colossal flame demon, shattering the massive stone bridge with his staff while shouting “You Shall Not Pass!”…or Ron, in the secret and forbidden territory of the Girl’s Bathroom, facing down a troll and staring at the troll snot covering his wand.

Top Ten reasons why Harry Potter is better than The Lord of the Rings

  • Frodo only had one giant spider to escape from, not an enormous horde of them, and he couldn’t even do it.
  • Three wizards in training can beat a troll in less time than it takes all nine of the Fellowship to beat one.
  • Sure, Eowyn killed the leader of the RingWraiths. But can she recite the text of every book in the Rohan library…?
  • Voldemort actually has the guts to come out and fight, while Sauron just hides in his tower.
  • Harry can take down a dragon AND a basilisk single-handedly.
  • Dobbie attracts a…very interesting…following to the theater.
  • Invisibility cloak from father is a much better gift than a dead rabbit from Gollum, and doesn’t have “Property of Sauron” in burning letters inside.
  • Everyone has an aunt or uncle they’d like to see puff up and blow away, but not many people actually get to make it happen.
  • Ron makes a much better travelling companion than Gollum, but is he as good a cook as Sam?
  • Buckbeak could take down a Ringwraith without losing a feather.

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