Hopefully Helpful but Usually Useless

“Thirty days hath September…umm…Dopey, Donner and Blitzen…?”

If you’re anything like me (and boy, isn’t THAT a scary thought), then you hate trying to remember things–especially poems that don’t even rhyme. Heck, it would be easier to remember the days of the months than the stupid poem that’s supposed to remind you how many days are in each month.

It would be so much easier to have the number of days in each month right there in your hand any time you needed them. And…as a matter of fact…you do. Here’s how to read the calendar that came pre-installed in your left hand.

First, make a fist with your left hand.

Next, gently and carefully–wouldn’t want to scratch or scar those beautiful calloused knuckles, would you?–put your right index finger on the knuckle of your left index finger.

Say “January,” quietly. You wouldn’t want anyone nearby to think you were doing anything strange, like counting on your fingers or something.

Slide your finger down into the gap between the first and second knuckle. Say “February.” The next knuckle up is “March.” Keep going through all of the months, until you get to July–because that’s when you run out of knuckles.

At this point, get someone else to hold their fist up beside yours so you can keep going. If there isn’t anyone nearby, then go ahead and start over again with the first knuckle and “August.”

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, the months at each knuckle have 31 days (January, March, May, etc), and the months that fall between the knuckles have less than 31 (February, April, June, etc). Now, the only one you have to memorize is February–and since it changes every four years, you had to memorize that one already anyway!

Bet you didn’t know you had a calendar installed in your fist, did you…?


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